Recently, the Captain showed up with me at an eatery. Three cash registers setting on the counter where I usually order had signs, “THIS REGISTER IS CLOSED.” Several employees rushed around stuffing food bowls into bags. Hmm. I looked around. The cash register on the dessert counter was open. Hmm. Being confused I asked the scurrying employees, “Are these registers closed?” Duh. A more astute question, “Where do I order?” So, I moseyed over to the cashier by the goodies. Hello Captain Obvious. The cinnamon rolls shouted my name. “I’ll also have a cinnamon roll?” The frazzled cashier replied, “How many?” Hmm, confused again. “How many what?” I said. His left eyebrow twitched. “Thanks, Captain Obvious!”
Sometimes my brain takes a short break from reality. A fog rolls in and clouds my common sense. What’s apparent takes a temporary vacation from the conscious mind. Does this ever happen to you?
Captain Obvious aka Brandon Moynihan, an amusing character, is a TV actor for a hotel-booking business commercial. Goofy humor sells. We all know that. Bahahaha. When we chuckle—we buy.
“Captain Obvious has been helping make oblivious travelers aware of Hotels.com deals and services through TV commercials. During wedding season, Captain Obvious is transforming into Chaplain Obvious to legally marry deserving couples,” according to a 2018 article at www.vaildaily.com. So, will Caption Obvious show up to divorce court when this couple decides to throw in the towel?
And males can purchase a Caption Obvious Men’s Costume online at Walmart for around $40.00. What a ridiculous Halloween outfit. “Thanks, Captain Obvious!”
Why do people feel the need to point out obvious things? How should you respond when a person makes such an apparent statement? Do you tell others annoying obvious things they already know?
Please do not point out that a person has a cold sore on her lip. Do you think she doesn’t know it? Sheesh. “Thanks, Captain Obvious!”
And sometimes later in life you learn something that is so obvious, you can’t believe you didn’t know it. Time for confession.
For example, I actually thought Alaska was an island. On the maps in elementary school, Alaska is put close to Hawaii (I guess to save space) and is featured as an island. Nobody told me any different. I lived in ignorant bliss. As an adult I really didn’t know you could drive to Alaska via Canada. Sheesh. “Thanks, Captain Obvious!”
Did you know? Betty Crocker isn’t actually a real person. She is the brainchild of an advertising campaign developed by the Washburn-Crosby Company; a flour milling company started in the late 1800’s that eventually became General Mills. www.bps.org. “Thanks, Captain Obvious!”
When I was a kid, my mom said eating raw cookie dough gives you worms. Argh. I repeated this to others until adulthood when I learned the truth. “Thanks, Captain Obvious!”
Are there obvious facts you didn’t know until later in life? Blame Captain Obvious.
Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and therapist. She lives in Southern Ohio. Contact her at melissamcolumnist@gmail.com.