Each year, thousands of children are experiencing the stress of divorce. The way they act in such a situation and how they feel would depend on their personality, age, and what the circumstances of the whole process would be.
Regardless, any separation can make them feel confused, angry, sad, or shocked. Since they can sometimes come out emotionally from such events better than adults, it is important to help them cope with it in the best way possible and protect them. This is some advice on what you can do to assist them in dealing with your divorce.
Be Transparent
When you have decided to have a divorce and if one of the parents will move out eventually, try, and be open about it with your child. Both parents should be present during this situation. Even though there is never an easy way of breaking such news, this conversation must be done. Divorce Attorneys In Rock Hill, SC would confirm that a decision like that is difficult and emotional for individuals that go through it. You can only imagine how the child would perceive such a scenario. That is why it would be significant that any emotions that are connected with blame, anger, or guilt towards your partner, are put aside when announcing your resolution. A good thing to do would be to practice what and how you are going to say before the event starts, so you would have a higher chance to prevent yourself from getting angry in front of your kid.
What Would Be The Best For Your Child?
Divorce brings a huge change, thus, the living arrangements should be handled slowly and gradually. Think about which would be the best for your children. It is usually a thing that most couples disagree upon. Even though there are those kids that can come accustomed to living in two homes, there are also those that thrive more if they have only one home with one guardian visits.
A solution where both parties stay in the same households is rare to succeed, so that should be avoided if possible. No matter what you choose, make sure that it is the child’s needs that come first. Stay focused as well when planning holidays, vacations, or other events like birthdays and have in mind what they would like. Your kid should never be the mediator and be forced to choose one or the other, you need to make all arrangements without involving him or her.
Keep The Conversation Civilized
Even though arguing between the parents, if it is occasional, is normal, any kid that is living in an atmosphere where continual hostility and conflicts are repeating themes will be burdened. Any kind of violence that involves screaming and arguing may affect the child. That sort of behavior would be a bad example for them, especially since they are still learning how to form their own relationships with others.
It would be wise to find a mediator or a divorce counselor if such a scenario is at stake. Girls and boys that grow up in such an environment are more likely to have behavioral and emotional problems in upcoming development. That is something, no matter the relations with your spouse, you would both like to prevent.
Be Honest
When the divorce has settled and if one of the parents has an arrangement of picking up their son or daughter, but for whatever reason cannot show up, children are usually assuming that it is somehow their fault. Their self-esteem may be affected as a result. To prevent that, you constantly need to reassure your child that the situation has nothing to do with them. Your son or daughter needs to express what it feels.
Many therapists would agree with such a statement. If, for instance, your ex-partner cancels agreed pickup because of the cold, let the child voice how they feel. On the same note, it is also important that when they vent their feelings, you should refrain from criticizing the other parent or apologizing in his or her name. The explanation would be enough.
It is more than natural and common for the majority of kids to hold on to the hope that their parents will get back together. As time goes by, you and your kids will get accustomed to the situation, and things will feel easier again. The most important thing is that both parties reassure them that it is ok to feel what they are dealing with and to be transparent about the situation so the divorce can go as smoothly as possible for everyone involved.