By Terry Carter
At this time of year, I would like to celebrate the local graduations and the future. As so many talented young adults graduate and advance themselves through hard work, I want to speak directly to the students, alumni who read this and march into their future beyond education and the relative routine of youth.
Today may be the first day you realize your unlimited potential as graduation is a time of growth, exploration and claiming your place in this world. On the other hand, you have known you are gifted at a younger age although you know you are not perfect. A good percentage of graduates this year have already battled adversity, challenge and limitation to take this brave journey toward into the unknown.
You control your future. No one has power over you. You create your reality by focusing on your vivid, detailed journey and the destination — and taking specific action. Success is not reaching the mountain peak, but traveling and embracing the adventure that is your journey.
When I attended high school, I distinctly recall valuable lessons I learned that upgraded my high school mind. Time and technology may separate our graduating classes by decades, but I can assure you that these basic lessons will be passed on to each of you either by social media, careers, relationships, life or your loving, yet challenging futures.
A. REACH HIGHER THAN EVER BEFORE: First realize that you being the best in your school, district, region or state is merely an introduction to your true potential. If you attend college as an athlete or a distinguished scholar, etc., realize now that you will arrive as one of many champions, standouts and dedicated students. Stay focused on all areas of growth and improvement like sports or fitness and especially your attitude, work ethic and mindset. Education continues and benefits you for life. Don’t think as I did in school that you are done learning after the graduation ceremony. Find time to meet and learn from old and new friends, to read exciting new material that challenges your beliefs and brings a new perspective to your life. And explore this world as if you only had today to live fully, bend reality to your will and live in bliss.
B. REMEMBER GRATITUDE AND COMPASSION: Second you have already been subjected to adversity, challenge, perhaps trauma and certainly limitation. For growing up seems like constant limitation by our parents until we are on our own. As we head to college or start our careers, it’s not unusual to carry some grudges with you into adulthood. And recycled emotional pain can haunt you for years if you focus on it. Look back to your parents with gratitude for their extra effort, time, love and dedication to our future. No one is perfect, but it’s likely your family loved you sacrificed to make your life better by giving you opportunities that may be taken for granted. Take time regularly to express your happy feelings of appreciation, care, compassion, love and gratitude with your family and those you care about.
C. GOALS, DREAMS AND THE WRITTEN WORD: The majority of college-bound students may have their major and primary goals in life already written out. For those goal-setting leaders, I congratulate you, for those with detailed, written goals are proven in studies to achieve at a much higher level than those who only verbalize their goals. It is not a guarantee however. The high achievers — and often high earners — are a small group, however — usually less than 10 percent overall. For the majority who enter adult life and/or college without a definite strategy, less is often achieved financially. But life is full of surprises, and it’s an ideal time for you to surprise everyone as your creative genius, intuition and skills are finely tuned in the next 10 years. As you develop your goals and intellect, also focus time on developing your intuitive/mindset skills because every action begins with a thought. The higher quality of thought and self-belief you produce, the better results your actions will generate.
D. GROWING UP ISN’T COMPLETE YET: Even at age 18, we are not done growing physically, emotionally or spiritually. The body can continue to grow, strengthen and improve for 1-2 decades if you exercise regularly. Emotional development reaches a state of maturity between 25-37 years, which includes maturity, patience to address parenting, career and relationship challenges. Yes, relationships can last for decades, but it takes commitment and maturity. However most students believe that they have the answers to life even when their parents don’t. Yet nearly all teens rely on primal habits, such as: (1) We want instant gratification. (2) We don’t realize in our hearts the depth and value of true love and how to make relationships thrive — we know only know the surface level emotions and what media teaches us on the topic as we are still students. (3) We may suffer emotional pain or unhealthy habits for decades until we learn our habits formed years ago are keeping us unhappy or unhealthy.
E. DARE YOURSELF TO BE GREAT: The teen years reveal who we are to the world, based on your words, thoughts and choices. It should be a time of magnificent exploration, achievement. But it can be clouded, even consumed if we live in fear. No one wants to hear about fear on graduation day, but fear can rule the world if we play passive, shy or limited. I’ve found that shyness, procrastination, a lack of boundaries and helplessness are coping mechanism that we adopt to protect/shield us from adversity, pain, fear or the like. If Bob is afraid to talk to Sandra in college because he fears rejection, Bob may never meet the person who could transform his life — Sandra. However when Bob learns to overcome his fear of rejection by telling himself that his old relationship thoughts have no impact on meeting Sandra, his confidence and his chances for success improve significantly.
F. REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE IMPORTANT: You matter. You are not a victim or a supporting actor in a film. And even if you were, that belief can be powerfully upgraded so you become the director and star of that film. Set high standards and boundaries for yourself and your friends. Realize no one is perfect, but you can do your best each day if you have a goal to actively pursue. Allow yourself to be happy with you, just as you are. You are still improving, learning, working toward your area of expertise and finding your path — and that make you uniquely lovable and valued. It’s your path, so make certain you choose what is best for you, not for anyone else.
