Humans love dogs. And dogs love humans. But who’s in charge? The two-legged or the four-legged?
According to a pet owners survey, there were approximately 90 million dogs owned in the United States in 2017. www.statista.com. That’s a lot of drooling. And an opportunity for fleas and ticks a pooch palooza for pests. Plus, a pet owner has to empty out the piggy bank to pay for medical care and health maintenance with a veterinarian.
“A person can learn a lot from a dog, even a loopy one like ours. Marley taught me about living each day with unbridled exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. He taught me to appreciate the simple things?a walk in the woods, a fresh snowfall, a nap in a shaft of winter sunlight.” John Grogan.
If aliens from another planet landed in my yard, they would go directly to my dog. Why? Because I would be scooping up dog poo. “What leader scoops stinky dog droppings” the aliens would ask.
The aliens would observe that I feed my pet. “Ah, the dog is your leader because you are serving her dinner.”
After watching me bath and groom my dirty dog, the aliens would declare, “Interesting. The dog must be in charge.”
“The human goes to work to make money while the dog stays home to nap, play, and bark at smaller creatures.” Of course, they would presume that my animal is the Big Kahuna.
I don’t carry around squeaky toys in my mouth. “The human is not allowed to chew on the dog?s toys. The dog must be the king pin.”
The aliens would assume that my hound is walking me because she stays in front as we stroll. “Look, the dog is taking the human out and about.” When I don’t allow her to chase the neighborhood squirrels, they would deduce that I’m the bodyguard. “The human keeps the dog safe and risks her own life around the vicious vermin.”
My dog lounges in the backseat of the car when we go to the vet office. “Ah, the human chauffeurs the dog.” And who gets a treat from the veterinarian? Not the human. I get the bill.
When my pooch goes to the door, I open it. “The dog has trained her human to open doors.”
Doggie daycare visits. “Ha! The human takes the dog to a barking party and then goes off to work. The human is inferior.”
Hmmm. My dog doesn’t pay rent or wash the dishes. Or carry out the trash. Am I being bamboozled?
When my mutt jumps on the bed at night, the aliens would proclaim, “Oh! The dog lets the human sleep with her. The canine must be the boss.”
“Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.”Orhan Pamuk
The aliens would be barking back at my dog trying to communicate. They would ignore me because I?m not the Queen. These extraterrestrials would pour out the secrets of the universe to a furry pet.
“I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.”Gilda Radner
Melissa Martin, Ph.D. is an author, columnist, educator, and therapist. She lives in Southern Ohio.
