According to the United States Census Bureau, just over 17 percent of fathers were custodial parents of their children in 2013. This statistic demonstrates just how few fathers have full custody of their children, but you shouldn’t let this statistic discourage you from pursuing custody if you believe it’s in your kids’ best interest.
The old belief that mothers always get the kids in divorce court is a myth that no longer applies to modern divorce. Today, more mothers have custody for the simple fact that more mothers want full-custody while more fathers do not. If you do pursue full-custody and you feel that you have good reason, it’s worth consulting a lawyer.
Getting custody as a father requires a different strategy, and these tips could help you be successful in court. Keep reading to learn more about what you should do before you go to court.
Pay Your Child Support
If you want to fight for full custody of your children, you must pay any child support that has already been ordered by the court. If you have not yet been ordered to pay child support, keep records of anything you spend for the child or any money you give to their mother.
If you are having trouble keeping up with the payments, apply for a modification which will demonstrate you want to provide support for your children.
Build a Relationship with your Kids
The best thing you can do for your children regardless of custody is to build a strong bond with them. When they are with their mother, keep in touch with them. Find things that you like to do together and invite your child to participate. If you have remarried, spend time alone with just your child in order to strengthen your relationship.
It is critical that you are part of your child’s educational, religious and social world. Attending school plays, going with them to birthday parties, watching them in sporting events are all important to a child’s upbringing. These events let your child know that their lives are important to you and helps you build a stronger bond with them.
Visit your childrens’ school and introduce yourself not only to teachers but to the administration as well. Ask the school to keep you informed of your child’s progress. Sit down with your child to help them with homework or read them a book.
Document Everything
You will need to have documentation if you want to win full custody. If the court has ordered a parenting plan, follow it and keep accurate records of the steps you took to meet the court’s requirements. If the court did not order a plan, you can create one on your own and present it to the court as evidence that you are an involved parent.
Provide Space in Your Home
If possible, give your child their own space in your home. Even if the space is small, your child should have their own space. A judge will ask about your living arrangements. Providing a specific spot in your home for your child will be beneficial to your case. If you cannot give your child their own room, create a small area that is just theirs where they can go and be alone.
Be Respectful to their Mother
How you treat the child’s mother could be a factor in whether you are awarded full custody. IF you are disrespectful, talk negatively about her to the children, or cause scenes at events because the two of you are not getting along, it could hurt your case.
Children have an uncanny knack of making everything their own fault. If you are constantly bickering and arguing with their mother, they will internalize that and feel as if they did something wrong to cause the two of you to argue. If their mother is antagonistic, simply walk away and do not respond.
Be Realistic and Have a Plan
Having your children full-time may be stressful. Be honest with yourself about whether or not you can handle your career and your children along with your social life, their active schedules, homework, meal planning, housekeeping, and everything else that can make life complicated. You will also need to show the judge that you are financially prepared to take care of your children.
If you want to seek full custody of your child, you may need to prepare for a battle in court with their mother. You should consult an attorney as soon as possible, if you haven’t already. A lawyer will be able to help you create a strategy to do what is best for your kids.
