Life is a winding road full of trials and tribulations that are sent to test us. If we truly believe we are here to meet our maker, then we will find solutions and make our way through as peacefully as we arrived. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case for everyone. Through mental pain, we can find ourselves being led astray by anything that seems comforting, even if it’s for a short amount of time. This can take its toll and result in addiction, leading to further issues. Handling any sort of substance abuse is difficult not only for the addict, but the people surrounding them, watching someone go through mental torment is a torture of the mind and can manifest stressful situations in everyday life. Understanding how to help a close friend or loved one through addiction is an integral part of their recovery, here are a few things to remember.
Help
It’s all well and good saying you’re going to help someone through a difficult situation and giving the bare minimum so you feel good, but to take it to the next step is another level of friendship and help. The best thing you can do for your friend is to try and seek professional help. Initially, this may come with a few feelings of betrayal, but speaking long term it’s better for everyone involved. When talking with these recovery experts, they say that developing lifelong recovery with a number of treatments is essential in helping a patient get truly clean. Without professional help, many find themselves back at square one and abusing their addictive behaviors. Slowly introducing the idea of detoxing and help from experts is the most successful way of getting help to a loved one, that is, of course, if it’s not too late.
An intervention might be your best way to help someone see the sheer number of people that love and care for them. People struggling with addiction will often feel alone or surround themselves with like minded people, meaning their friends and family get blocked out. This isn’t because you aren’t loved, it’s because the stress of the world is getting too much for them. Show them the care you have.
Trust
You may have a certain level of trust between you and your friends already, as most friendship groups do. However, this requires a different kind of trust, something that is unquestionable and has strong foundations. Whilst your friend may have broken some form of trust between the two of you, it’s important to try and let that go and establish a two-way road between you. It’s important to avoid creating a feeling of control when showing you care, it could lead to enrage or encourage the addictive side of their personality. Realistically, people use addiction, or addictive substances, to control their own stress demons. Having a stressful relationship that’s full of negative connotations will only lead your friend to engage in their own control methods, which is exactly what you’re trying to stop.
Try to avoid negative criticism and lecturing on any subject, nagging isn’t the way to get someone to stop an addiction, it will only spur them on to continue. Yelling and being nasty is also an incredibly damaging thing to partake in, no matter how stressed you get yourself. Finally, if you’re helping an addict get clean, don’t take part in addictive behaviors yourself, it’s hypocritical and contradictory of what you’re attempting to teach.
Support
Through thick and thin you’ll be there, no matter the weather. This is such a vital part of your role as a friend or family member and it won’t go unnoticed. Keep working on the trust you have with your loved one, it’s a never-ending relationship that can experience turbulence at any given moment, so try to mitigate that and keep things on a level.
Be honest with your friend and respect them at all times. If you have been through a similar time, then, by all means, talk about your experience, it might help them through some pretty dark times, but if you haven’t just stopped and listen. Sometimes listening is the best tool we have as a human and we often forgotten it.
If you’re trying to implement change with your friend then you need to be open to change yourself. The road to recovery is a long one and will require a lot of effort from all parties. Get professional help and let them lead the way whilst you keep your friend on track. Life’s a maze and we get lost a lot, but it doesn’t mean we will never find our way again.
