A Guide to Dealing with Disagreements on Social Media

Things have changed on the internet, especially with social media. Things have become more politically charged, especially after the election. This has had a lot of impact on social media. Experts have been looking at how social media has affected behavior. The posts on social media are now almost rage-y political posts. FOMO has resulted in a big mental health nightmare, from insta-anger to Twitter jitters. Commenting now has become a place of bickering.

There isn’t a pretty filter that can manage to make online angst good. This can make you want to log out once and for all. But you need to know that you can stay sane without having to give yourself a social media cleanse. Below are some tips that will go a long way in helping you.

Avoid bookending your day with drama

It has become a habit for most people to wake up and fall asleep on their screens. But you are going to mess up with your mood if you begin and end your day with news that will get your emotions kicked up (debates on foreign policy before you have your breakfast is going to be a real buzzkill). Spending a lot of your time on social media shouldn’t be affecting other activities that are good for your mental health. You can make time for a workout or use your free time to read a book.

Doing the good stuff first

You should consider reorganizing apps on your phone. Your home screen should have things that have value to your wellness like meditation apps. If you feel like tapping on the social media icons, force yourself to first click on the good-for-you apps first. Once you strike a yoga pose or do a quick meditation exercise, you are less likely to open your social media apps.

Remember to breathe in real life

Research has shown that when someone is in an online bubble, they tend to unconsciously hold their breath or have shallow breaths. This is sometimes referred to as “email apnea” because researchers focused on this tech medium, but this is the same thing that comes up when using social media. The body works better with oxygen, when you feel tense, you are more likely to be affected by what you see.

Mute, Block, Unfollow. You don’t have to quit

You might think quitting social media is the fix you need, but you can easily end up feeling worse when you give up your digital circle. You might miss out on connections you enjoy (watching your cousin’s engagement video, pics of your BFF and their baby, rooting for a friend as they compete in a marathon). The goal here is to avoid eating up everything that you are served. You need to curate what is constantly coming up on your feed. If you have a friend who keeps posting things that upset you, you can decide to unfollow her (you don’t have to unfriend her). Be careful when unfollowing because it might end up putting you in a bubble. You should use this approach when the content troubles your state of mind. Remember, Facebook can be an annoying place and there are Facebook alternatives you can use, that may not be so triggering.

Limiting yourself

You might feel like it is your job to comment on everything, especially with the current world of fast opinions and fake news. Make it a habit to engage with only what is healthy for you. You can choose something that you are good at and comment about that and nothing else. You can also decide to comment only once a week on political items.

Sharing something proactive

You will feel worse if you engage with every single post on your feed. Try to contribute to the conversation when you feel you can share something more than an opinion, something actionable, backed up by verifiable sources such as newspapers. It could be re-posting an upcoming event you find important or a link to donate to a cause you care about.

Mastering the rules of engagement

One rule to have in mind: Only write on social media things that you’re comfortable saying to a room full of strangers. If you choose to engage with something, state your opinion, give only one chance for rebuttal, then end the discussion. You are going to feel much better than spending your time on a 20-comment quarrel.

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