Most of the signs usually referred to true love, mean something quite different. Let’s figure it out. Here is a list of the right signs and things that are just confusing.
False signs
- Do you think about this person all the time? Blind infatuation! True love fits into life, it doesn’t take over.
- You constantly yearn for a partner or cannot live a day without him. See above.
- This person means everything to you. Same thing.
Opinion: “I had to start my life over after breaking up with my girlfriend. It was terrible.” Matt, one of the Washington DC singles
- You cannot imagine your future without this person. If honestly, you can imagine anything. For example, you moved to Switzerland and grazed goats there. That doesn’t mean you need that life twist. No problem, imagine your partner in your future, but not because he “makes life fulfilling.”
- This person is the one you have always dreamed of. See above.
- You want your partner to always be there. You have never been in a healthy long-term relationship. Yes, you must want to see your beloved. But not always! Sometimes you need to be alone with yourself, work, or do other things. Don’t feel like you don’t love someone just because you want to be alone from time to time.
Portland dating story: “That guy always wanted us to spend all the time together. It was cute in the beginning. However, in the end, I had to say goodbye to him.” Louise
- You will do anything to impress your lover. It’s even scary. Why are you trying so hard? To love doesn’t mean making a good impression.
- You are afraid of losing this person. In healthy love, there is no fear of loss. This is attachment.
- You are jealous. This is, again, attachment, not mature love.
Opinion: “After a broken plate because of going to the cinema with friends and not with her, I realized that we are not in the right way.” Kim, one of the Washington DC singles
- You just know. This is the most useless answer in life. Do not repeat such nonsense after others, calling them romantic, because you have no normal explanation.
Signs of true love
- You have decided to love. Love is an action, not a feeling. It is a conscious decision that you make over and over again.
- You show love. You do not take revenge, do not manipulate, you aren’t sneaky. Your partner’s needs don’t irritate you.
- You value your partner’s point of view. You learn his/her love language. You support. You care and accept care.
Portland dating story: “I realized that I am ready to spend my whole life with this guy when I was in the hospital, and he was there for me.” Miriam
- You show love, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s easy to think about what you love when the relationship is smooth. Much more important is the period when difficulties begin.
Ask yourself the question “How to love”, not “How to understand that you are in love.” It is worth distinguishing between the concepts of “being in love” and “love” because the first is just a blind infatuation, which has nothing to do with real feelings. Love is action. Always.
Meta: Definitive ways to tell you are in love with the right someone
