(This article is part of an ongoing series of mindset, wellness and a thriving holiday season and New Year. This is not medical advice, only a general wellness article, which is not to be used to diagnose or treat an illness without a doctor’s care.)
By Terry Carter
Most of us work hard and mean it when we say we are happy, cheerful or loving the holiday season. However we still get tickets, have bad hair days and struggle at times.
We try to move forward toward improvement in the New Year — sometimes with help. WorldWellnessToday.com is partnering with Coaches Without Borders on Tuesday, Dec. 6, at noon Central Time to offer a free Community Service remote seminar. The talk will feature several trending experts on wellness, mindset and thriving in 2023.
For details on how to make your New Year happier, healed and healthier, visit the Twitter account: @WorldWellness2D
- Two aspects to today’s talk: First realize things happen to everyone — happy, centered or elevated individuals are not exempt from pain, loss or trauma. However they handle in a better, more efficient way than most, so they can return to being content and at peace again.
That ability to stabilize and re-introduce calm, joy and gratitude after a family member’s death or a breakup is what prevents months or year of emotions like sadness, depression, shame. When people are inclined to go there, which seems very natural based on our programming, it’s difficult to climb back to stable ground mentally. But support and coaching can help the journey.
- Second point and the priority of today’s talk: Look at the people you know well today. You either know someone now or will meet someone this holiday season who seems very genuine, charming and caring. If you are in a romantic relationship with such a person, you may initially see that as a huge emotional bonding key.
However that person and their action can be deceiving, and today’s instant-gratification culture may play into the hands the charming man or woman you begin dating. And eventually you may be forced to escape from after they begin devaluing, creating doubt and gaslighting you.
The odds are good you know many women who have had bad relationships and left out of necessity because it challenged their sanity, emotional well-being, created constant anxiety/worry. Such manipulative individuals, some, but not all, are narcissists, bounce between charming/gifting or love-bombing and emotional abuse (gaslighting), which can include entitlement, coercion to get what they want, rage, bullying, even physical abuse.
Perhaps the most telltale signs of a narcissist include the fact they never admit a mistake and apologize for it — unless it used as a manipulation to get back into your good graces. From there, the charming personality, which is a mask for a truly lonely, low self-esteem individual, will last only days before the rage, controlling manipulator returns like a volcanic eruption.
In short, emotional abusers are always lying, bending the truth to get their desires met. They can cause victims to lose confidence in their choices, intelligence and sanity. Victims often turn to coping mechanisms like alcohol to deal with an intense, high stress levels.
Some victims are so emotionally engaged by the charming Romeo persona that they can’t disconnect to leave, even after violent outbursts, veiled threats and massive entitlement. But awareness of manipulation and the difference between true, patient love and this erratic, emotionally demanding behavior should spell out the issue.
A narcissist and some manipulators are not personalities you can persuade to behave differently. The victim needs strong assistance from family and friends, who may be needed to intervene on the victim’s behalf to end such an emotionally damaging relationship from the last trauma endured. Beware that a narcissist traditionally tries to persuade the victim’s family and friends that their romantic partner is not normal, perhaps insane and needing serious help.
If you are that victim’s family or ally, stand by your friend. Support them and help them find a safe place to make better choices away from the influence of a narcissist, manipulator or worse.
(Next Time: We will discuss steps to take for a happier holiday and a thriving 2023. Thank you for your time investing in this continuing education series of articles from World Wellness Today. To learn more or arrange a free talk at WorldWellnessToday.com or visit us on Twitter at @WorldWellness2D
You may also call on Mondays or Wednesdays between 1-5 p.m. at 281.541.4983 to schedule a consultation).
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- Let time tell the story of who you are and who your partner is.
CUTLINES:
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Relationships require time for those involved to develop authentic feelings like love. It takes time, and the narcissist strategy of love-bombing someone they want to manipulate is yet another reason why it is recommended to move slowly to find true love. Mistakes are sharp and painful. (Photo by Terry Carter/UDPhotos)
Image: Self-Awareness
Let time tell the story of who you are and who your partner is.
